hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii. i AM CAUGHT UP WITH DELTARUNE NOW. im actulally quite bad at playing games so i asked an oomf to finish the titan fight for meheheheh but now i have like ultra mega deltarune brainrot like ITS BAD. BUT ITS KIND OF NOSTALGIC. IT REMINDS ME OF HWEN CH2 CAME OUT.which.. its still my favorite chapter. it has my favorite character in it after all. chapter 4 is also good in noelle appearances and the weird route stuff is like really really interesting. so guys. kris is working with the roaring knight i guess. KYYAAHHH I LOVE KRIS THEYRE USCH AN INTERESTIGN CHARACTER TO ME KYAAAA OMFG I CANT BELIEVE CH5 IS GONNA BE OUT NEXT YEAR THATS SOSOSOSOOSOSO SSOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNN HAIODHPAOSDJDLSKi feel emotional. i feel emotional. I LOVE DELTARUNE. I LOVE IT............... I LOVE VIDEO GAME THEORY... I LOVE.. NOELLE HOLIDAY... Dess come home.
Also I forgot if i mentioned this before in my last entry but im rewatching deathnote and im like halfway through now and i aske my oomf to watch it with me next week so i will be rewatching it AGAIN SOON. a lot of peak happening. it makes me not wanna talk about sad stuff but well i must be completely truthful here .
SORRY I TALK ABOUT SUICIDE AGAIN DAMN. after i leave home in the summer, lolita is probably gonna be staying at my moms friends home, but she will return for every break i have. that might not be a lot of change for me, but im sure for her its going to be weird. she'll be out of her zone of comfort, i hope they do it in a slow and easy way that makes her not anxious. you know i was worried a lot about whether or not she would still consider me to be her favorite person if she went to live in someone elses home. its weird though. her opinion dont matter shes a dog. HAHAAH jk guys though i was really scared when my mom said she wanted to rehome her you know i thought she would go with a stranger and id never see her again. shes the only reason i want to go back home, other than hanging out with my #sister ig uess. (nonchalance)... its been like 3 months since lunamiel passed away too so im still quite hurt fromthat, if i had to lose lolita idk what id do. tbh my first thought was well maybe i should kill myself. do i have to always talk about that on here??? im always thinking of ways to rationalize it even though im sure i wont do it. just wait till my dogs not here -- just wait till my mom dies -- just wait till my siblings arent kids anymore -- well at that point its worthless right?? this is being written with certainty that these current times, and stuff that happened in the past, will probably the worst times ever, although its probably not true. idk. i just know that im an important presence in my family's lives, and hopefully in that of my friends. and my mom has already gone through bad stuff, same as everyone else, why would i want to make it worse? i do think you should live for yourself though so i guess im sort of a tooootal hypocrite.
about friends, i worry. there is a lot of friendships that are fleeting. i hope thats not the case for this. i can always reassure myself by saying "well, i still have my other friends!" but it feels horrible. i would feel like i should have tried harder. i just need you to make the first step, because i really wont know whats wrong otherwise.
well i want the ending of this to be wholesome. so. tomorrow im showing my sister dr ch4 and also watching squid games s3 when it comes out with my friends so thats stuff to look forward to!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! surely the future is bright